It actually led to the release of a 2019 masterpiece.
The land of K-Pop is brutal. The standards are high; A singer is expected to sing well, of course, but also to look good and be slim. Against these standards, solo Ailee he struggled, as he shared on the latest episode of “BYOB” on John Maat YouTube channel.
When asked if she has a song of her own that she loves more than others, Ailee noted: “There’s one in particular that means a lot” to her.
Time passes the same for everyone. Eventually, everything will be forgotten. But this song I’m singing now will remain. Wherever it will flow, it will go and it will remind him of me. I’m not a perfect woman, but I like to be myself without pretensions. The stories that I have kept in my heart, I will share them without hiding anymore. I will free myself from the burdens that weighed me down and fly free. Now look at me for who I am. Don’t you see? It’s not nice.
— “Ain’t That Pretty” by Ailee
According to her, “Ain’t That Pretty,” co-written and released in 2019, came when she was “going through depression”. It was rooted in her struggle with weight loss and subsequent struggle with performing.
I couldn’t figure out if I should keep singing, even though I’m a little overweight and just… Because all my songs are very high pitched, in the high range. And I also dance at the same time. So I need a lot of energy when I’m on stage. But when I was really skinny, I used my real throat to sing because I had no energy coming from deep inside. So, I had vocal nodules. Yes, so I trained without undergoing any surgery to improve.
— Ailee
After realizing that she doesn’t need to follow anyone else’s standards, Ailee wrote the song…
That’s why Ailee was criticized for her weight even after her drastic weight loss
But then people said: “Oh, now he’s getting fat again,” OR “He should lose weight” OR “No, I liked it when she was a little plumper.” They went back and forth and I felt a little confused. So, I felt like I just had to stick to one. And I came to the decision that I didn’t want to be someone who followed someone else’s beauty standards. I want to create my own standard of beauty and only do what I like. So I decided to do it and I wrote this song called “Ain’t That Pretty,” which is about me when, like, I looked in the mirror. I would always cry. Because I can’t be, like, skinny AND sing well?
— Ailee
…and, admitting that he still struggles with the need to fit other standards, he explained how he still relies on the song’s message to ground him.
Those kind of emotions I felt are in that song. So, it’s the song I always turn to when I’m a little unsure of myself again… because I’m human. Even though, like, I decided to, you know, say, “OK, I won’t follow anyone’s standards anymore.” sometimes, like, I go, “Oh, and this?” And then I’ll say, “Ninth. Focus. Be you.” Do you know? So…this is valuable to me.
— Ailee
After hearing the background of the song, show the hosts Brian from Fly towards the sky AND Joon Park from God they both comforted Ailee, reassuring her that she is beautiful and more than enough just as she is.
If you go by all these people who hate, who say these things because they have no happiness in their life and they have to relieve the stress by giving it to someone else… Then you are listening to advice that is zero. Right? I’m happy you guys are here, healthy. Don’t listen to that shit.
—Joon Park
In the same episode, Ailee shared romantic details about how she and her Singles Hell starry boyfriend Choi Si Hoon they met and started dating. Read more:
When, where and how: Ailee tells all about her engagement to ‘Single’s Inferno’ star boyfriend
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